12/3/09

anybody could have told you right from the start its 'bout fall apart

I’m in a trance & no matter what I can’t escape. I feel myself moving but I’m completely still. My heart is torn and my mind is else where. I never know my next move good or bad. I walk with my head so low and smile when I have to. I drink to forget and I smoke to escape. I was drunk yesterday and I’m high today. I do whatever it takes to escape reality even if just for a second. I hurt to feel good. Pain is the only feeling I know. I’m completey content with how I am right now it’s the most “alive” I felt in forever but truthfully I am dead. There’s nothing inside me. I’m so cold. I’m completely numb.
Life is good.


PS.
I have no need to answer to anyone.. If you have a problem with the way I deal with myelf excuse yourself from my life. It’s just that simple.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry about how your feeling Keys. I know it's hard but hang in there, sooner or later, EVERYTHING will get better. trust me. i have experience in this.

    love liz ♥

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  2. Baby i have no clue whats goin on and i havent heard from you r anything..and im worried and i wish i can help you r take whatever pain your going threw but i cant and im sorry..whenever you see this just no that im here for you no matter goes on..mama i really dont know what to do..im stressing now a bunch..ily just call me and let me know your Ok chunky mama..Ily Baby

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  3. we all go through these moments. i certainly do. just remember that everything happens in its time and we all get through it eventually. <3 stay strong my love i know you are

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  4. stay strong girl, everything will be alright, just believe on that, i know sometimes it's difficult but try to think like that. just belive in yourself and believe that changes happen (:

    kiss <3

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  5. Keys i don't what your going through or whats going on but don't let it get to a point where you feel like you can't escape. you know i'm here for you like your always there for me.. We sometimes have to go through the rain in order to see the sunshine.. & everything we go through makes us stronger even if we feel like "why am i going through this right now, why me." never allow yourself to Question God why because at the end of the day he has total control over ALL things so put your trust in him and move forward. Stay Strong mama! we all have our seasons.. Your season of Excellence is approaching very soon!

    ily <3

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  6. thank you elizabeth! <3

    bri <3 i love you ! thanks mama.

    mia, it gets VERY difficult. but its what need to be done! thanks mama <3

    jasmineeeeee my fucking sweet love! you are amazing. thank you so much <3

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