11/8/09

self experience.

It’s kinda of ridiculous that we put celebrities on such a high pedestal in our life isn’t it? I just got done watching the Rihanna interview on 20/20 and I never really followed the whole case I heard bits in piece but never took time to actually sit and listen. I was so disgusted by how many “youtubers” made videos talking about how Rihanna must have done something to push Chris……. Wait? WTF? What? I can’t grasp my fingers around ones theory…. What can a woman say or even physically do that would allow or give a man the right to beat her? That’s what I’m not understanding even if Rihanna did lay hands on Chris does that really give him the right as a man to beat until she almost passes out? In my eyes no matter what situation you’re put in as a fucking man you should never lay a finger on women. EVER. I’ve never been so angry so upset watching something in my life but I guess it’s expected considering I went through it almost my whole life. I guess it hit something deep within me that made everything flash before my eyes. In my opinion you can not relate with Rihanna or understand what decisions she’s made unless you yourself have physically gone through something similar.. You just can’t.


My very first relationship lasted way too long. He was my first everything. I was newly in high school and everyone looked at us as the “it couple” he was the typical basketball... football... rugby player and I was the “pretty popular girl”. It was like a match made in heaven. But I let him get the best of me and let him knock me down way too many times. There were times where everything was so sweet... Where he made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl in the world but then hours later made me feel like I was a piece of shit. I became accustomed to being treated the way he treated me and he became comfortable in knowing that no matter what he’d do I’d be right there for him. After endless times finding him in lies and finding out and even catching him cheat on me I stayed with him. YUP. But there were times many times more than I can even count of times I broke up with him. What made me continue to go back? I was so dependant on someone to tell me I’m beautiful and tell me they loved me that I overlooked everything else. I was yearning for love so bad that coming up with excuses for my bruises felt like nothing.. Like it was a normal thing to do. I was like this for years.. YEARS so coming from someone who was once in Rihanna's shoes its not as easy as it may look. Easier said than done is right. it may seem very logical “if he abuses you leave him.” But once you’ve invested so much time so much love into someone they become a part of you a part that you’d do anything to keep a hold off. It takes a lot to finally find the strength to walk away from it all from all you’ve known. When I finally found the strength to say goodbye it drained me emotionally and physically and took me a long while to rebuild myself to the person I am today.

2 comments:

  1. right after the 20/20 interview aired i remember i was on facebook i kid you not it was so many status updates referring to Rihanna's Interview people felt like it was a waste of their time watching it and i was thinking to myself what exactly did this people want to know that they didn't find out from the interview? i thought it was a good one you could see she was honestly emotionally still hurting from it all. like she said this Guy was her Best Friend & her first "big love" and she explained why she went back and why she decided this wasn't what she wanted.. i didn't know her father use to beat her mother, i knew chris step father use to beat his mom so that blew me away like damn they both came from abusive homes. the whole situation is just crazy to me and people saying she deserved it pisses me off NO-ONE deserves to get beat and no man should ever put his hands on a female EVER so for people to say she deserves it really get's under my skin.. like how can you be so stupid to say some shxt like that? I'm sorry you had to experience what you did love! you def. didn't deserve that but i'm glad to know you got out of it and made it to the top. God Never gives us more then we can handle! Your Beautiful & you deserve the world & more!

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  2. Thank you mama! I felt insulted like people were personally attacking me while I was watching the rihanna interview. I felt so bad for her. Youre right the emotions shun through. And because shes a celebrity shes gets ridiculed but this happens daily to many people we know people are just afraid to speak out. I don’t understand why people were making it seem like it couldn’t happen. It’s a shame

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